I just told my mom (my mom, not any of her personalities, my REAL MOM) about my altercation with Grandma, and said “Thankfully, I think, I’ve been told, by a few people, and I hope they’re right, that I’m pretty kind even when I’m angry,” and guess what happened?

She agreed. She even said that it was because she was always yelling over me and that its her fault, but that she admires it.

I’m crying. She has never admitted that before. And she also didn’t argue or get upset when I slipped in my reality-distortion problems (caused by her and Tony telling me that things did/didn’t happen until I believed I was crazy). This makes me feel more loved than I have felt from her in a long time. 

I’m so full of love that I’m going to have to work my rage back up when I speak to my Grandma. Because as loved as I feel by my mom, I feel so furious at the way my Grandmother has treated me. And that she hides behind the children makes me only angrier.